Merry Freaking Christmas

This is the first year I've not been in the Holiday spirit.
At all.

I am really just ready to be done with all this holiday hoop-la.

It has been really odd for me, because I usually get so much joy out of shopping and buying gifts. Especially for Ryan and my family. This year, it's like I am buying because I "have to."
I wish it didn't feel that way.

I'm not quite to the ba-humbug category yet.

But I'm definately in the Merry Freaking Christmas mood.

F My Life

Today I left work on time.
I spent 45 minutes in rainy rush hour traffic driving home. (Usually takes 15 minutes)
Arrive home and realize that my phone is no in my purse.
My brand new (as in, I bought it Friday after smashing the screen on my blackberry) way to expensive phone that I splurged on.
I jump back in the car and spend 30 minutes in rainy rush hour traffic driving back downtown.
Traffic is so bad I get off the interstate at an unfamiliar exit, and proceed to get lost in the ghetto. No problem I think, I'll just use my GPS to find my office.
Except that my GPS is on my {lost} phone.
Finally locate my office.
Check with the parking garage attendant, office building security guard, and under all the furniture in my office.
No phone.
While leaving the parking garage, I barely miss some crazy moronic woman driving a mini van going the WRONG way on Maryland (which is a 5 lane ONE WAY) street. She proceeds to flip ME off.
Tomorrow afternoon I have a meeting with IA.

F.
My.
Life.

With my luck, I'm probably going to burn down the house or accidentally stab myself while showering.


Happily, a good samaritan did locate my phone in the stairwell of the parking garage and called my Mom who called my Husband who went with me to pick up my phone after I called him from my office.

Timing

Sometimes when you think the timing is all wrong. . . .

It is actually exactly right.


I just have to figure out if Now is the wrong or right time.

Time is Flying

This year is pretty much gone, and I'm so not ready for it!!

For the past several weeks, I have been planning a Wedding Shower for my Best Friend in the world. I'm having such a wonderful time, and I've really discovered how much I just love to plan things. I love watching all the ideas in my head, form into plans and finally translate into reality. I wonder if I could find some volunteer opportunities on planning events. . . .

I will post more about the shower later, but I'm making a lot of the elements a surprise for the bride-t0-be, so I can't spill any details just yet!

Because SNS is open on Thanksgiving day this year, my husband has to work. So my parents and brothers are coming to Indy and I'll be making Thanksgiving Dinner this year. I'm really excited. I love to cook, so I'm ready for my second attempt at turkey. I also think am going to attempt homemade cranberry sauce this year. Hopefully everything comes together.
The weekend after Thanksgiving I'm headed to Nashville for the Shower (and Bachelorette Party!). The weekend of the 12th, Ryan's mom will be in Indy for the weekend. Then I have ONE last weekend and Christmas will be here.

When in the world am I going to shop?!?!

Tweet your little heart out

"I Enjoy a Good Tweet"
The cast of Seinfeld expounds on the latest Internet phenomenon.
By Frank Ferri

INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT—DAY
ELAINE and JERRY are standing around JERRY'S kitchen counter. GEORGE is sitting on the couch typing on a laptop.

JERRY: Again with the Twitter?
GEORGE: What? I can't tweet?
ELAINE: No one said you can't tweet.
GEORGE: Jerry did. Jerry's got a problem with my tweeting.
JERRY: Please, tweet away. Tweet all you want. Tweet your heart out.
GEORGE: I will. I enjoy a good tweet.
ELAINE: Fine, but d! on't you think it's a bit much with the tweets?
GEORGE: Who are you? The queen of tweets? I think I tweet the perfect amount.
JERRY: You know, you've got to have something to tweet about in order to tweet.
GEORGE: I got plenty to tweet about, baby!
JERRY: No, no you don't. You see, you have the Twitter account and the laptop. But you don't have anything worthwhile to tweet about. No job, no girlfriend, no …
KRAMER enters, nearly knocking over JERRY as he stumbles into the living room.
KRAMER: Giddyup. (Notices George.) What's with Poindexter on the laptop?
ELAINE: He's tweeting again.
KRAMER: My God! You're tweeting all over the place!
GEORGE: I tweet just as often as the next guy. No one stops George Costanza from tweeting!
KRAMER: I ever tell you about my friend Bob Sacamano? Tweeted way too much. (Getting animated.) Tweeted like there was no tomorrow!
GEORGE: So?
KRAMER: (high-pitched) He's dead.
ELAINE: Death by Twitter?
KRAMER: You said it, sister.
JERRY: What's the deal with that 140-character limit, anyway? Like if it was 141, the Internet would break?
GEORGE: Ooh, that's good. Can I tweet that?

LAUGHTER. APPLAUSE. END SCENE.

Baby On Board.

So, admit it. Part of you was hoping this blog was an announcement.

Sorry to disappoint. It's not.

This morning on my way to work I got stuck in traffic behind a 1998 green Honda Accord with a small sign in the back window that read: "Baby On Board." You know what I'm talking about: those little diamond cardboard signs that look like school zone street signs- with the yellow background and black lettering. I couldn't help but laugh: do you really think that proclaiming to all the world that you have a miniature human in your backseat that I will try harder not to ram into your already-cracked green bumper? Do you really think that I'm actually trying to get into a wreck? And if I am some insane 7:52 am road-raging maniac, what makes you imagine that your little proclaimation of fertility will make me reconsider??

I would like a sign for my car that reads: "May all the world know that I, too, am fertile, though I have chosen to hold off on procreation for the time being. That said, there are between 1 and 5 people occupying this vehicle, ranging between the ages of 2 days and 103 years all of whom would prefer that you do not ram your car into this one. Your consideration and compliance are greatly appreciated."


Completely unrelated to this morning's ephiphany, I had another 'The Way I See It' moment.
I say this with all the respect in the world for the ladies who were injured and killed by the psycho who invaded the fitness club in Pennsylvania earlier this week:

Women who don't go to the gym, don't get shot while at the gym.

So I have informed my husband that it is for my own well being that I make the conscience decision to forego a gym membership.

And that's The Way I See It.

The Way I See It. #9

Steve McNair is dead.
Murder suicide along with his 20-something-year-old girlfriend.

Her family say she was so completely sure that McNair was leaving his wife to be with her.

She was spotted following Steve's "other" girlfriend (#2 for anyone who's lost count at this point)

Mac's best friend says that divorce *(yes, he was married) was the last thing on his mind.


The way I see it:

Men who are at home with their wives don't get shot by their girlfriends.


And another reason more people should practice fidelity.

I feel good. Thanks, creepy old man.

So yesterday I was laying out in the sun on my deck in my turquoise lawn chair, as I often do in the afternoons now. What can I say? Sunlight makes me feel so happy.
Of course, since it is summer, there is a contant stream of people driving by on their little golf carts. I usually pay them no mind, since I am resting and reading to my little heart's desire.

Well yesterday, this creepy old man was driving by on his little golf cart (we live on the green of the 14th hole of Saddlebrook golf course) and I hear a whistle. Well, since my dog is usually outside with me, and has discovered that she enjoys leaving the yard and leading me on a long chase while she runs along the creek, my head popped up and I saw the source of the noise.

A creepy guy. Sitting. In his golf cart. Staring at me.

"Thanks, Sugar. You made my day!"
And then he drove off.


Given my last post, the creepy old man made me feel pretty good about myself.
:)

No More Comfort Food. Damn.

Well, I had a Dr. appt today. And aside from the *delightful* (sense the sarcasm) experience of "getting to know" my OBGYN she told me the thing I was most dreading to hear. I need to lose 20 pounds.

Grrreat.

She suggested I join weight watchers. She did admit that my weight would make me a bit of an odd person at WW, but that with my 5'5" height, and my blood pressure as high as it is (not high per se, but high for my age) that I really need to lose some chub.

Damn.

So I'm hosting a pity party tonight (with some beer) and tomorrow I'm continuing my work out and starting a more strict diet. We'll see how it goes. If by the end of the summer I'm not down at all, I'll break down and join WW.

So I cried on my way home from the appt. and my mom said even with my weight what it is she cannot understand anyone telling me to lose anything.

I'm sad to say I'm feeling all of those feeling and urges from high school coming flooding back.


I hope I'm stronger now.

Getting Older on the Indiana Wine Trail

So my husband planned a weekend getaway for my birthday. It was amazing. He booked us two nights at a bed and breakfast in Madison, IN at a winery and vineyard. It was so wonderful. We drove down on Friday (I took a floating holiday) we checked in and walked along the main street into all the little shops. It was also the town's bicentennial, so there was a huge street festival. It was really neat. We stopped in this awesome little book shop and bought a few new (used) books.

We ate dinner at a place called JoeyGs. There was a guy singing Jimmy Buffet and other assorted hits during dinner. It was relaxing. After dinner we went back to the amazing bed and breakfast and sat in the hot tub for almost an hour *with a bottle of wine of course, we were in Indiana's wine country* and finally went up to bed.

Saturday we hit the Indiana Wine Trail. We went to five different winerys for tastings. It was great. Lanthier was the worst, the wine was so sweet neither of us could drink it. Thomas Family Wineries was Ryan's favorite, with their hard ciders. They were fabulous. I also talked Ryan into getting an old fashioned photo made. It was so much fun!

We also had the world's best Sundae at a little throw back diner. It was chocolate, vanilla, and rocky road with hot fudge, chocolate and marshmallow topping with whipped cream, cherries and nuts.

Our hosts at the bed and breakfast hosted an Hours de Vors tasting with three wonderful wines. (In addition to making the world's BEST breakfasts!) We also went to Commisky and Vevay Indiana to visit their wineries as well. Saturday night *my birthday* we had dinner at a wonderful Seafood restuarant right on the Ohio river. We had an amazing 5 course meal. I love love LOVE crab legs! We walked along the riverbanks taking pictures (after the world's best key lime pie) and then went back to the B&B for another hot tub soak and a lovely night's sleep.

This morning we had a private tour with the winemaker- its so neat to see someone talk about what they love so much. After a quick tasting, we made our way to the final winery of the trail (#6) to get our Souvenir Glasses. We also had a wonderful brunch of prime rib, made to order pasta and omelets, strawberry short cake and cinnamon rolls. I only wish we lived closer.

This was the most wonderful weekend. I had a great birthday and I only wished I could have had a longer weekend.

I'm getting older now.

Forget Change. . . .

I'd like to keep my whole Dollar, please.





I'm not one to go on and on about my political views. So I will yield to the old saying: "A picture is worth a thousand words."

This day has gone to the dogs

Today was the day for dogs. Nearly every email complaint I read had something to do with dogs.





"The food was so greasy, I wouldn't feed it to my dogs." Uh, are you breeding some type of vegan dogs?!?!





"It was so bad my dog wouldn't even eat it." Wow, I hope you aren't as picky as your dog. Last time I checked all dogs love all people food. My dog eats brussel sprouts for crying out loud.


Well, Gretchen is loving having a houseguest for the month. They just run and jump and play. . . and it's just adorable when they sleep! :)

Gretchen and Blake: Pals for Life

I've Never Considered Divorce. . . .

Finally home from Nebraska. It was a long trip, but good to see my Grandparents again. Though there is not really that much to do in Stratton. Ryan had to work since it was Race Weekend, so I flew to Denver and then met Andy and drove the three and a half hours to Stratton.
While most of the weekend was depressing watching Grandfather hardly get around and not speak at all and Grandmother so confused.
At the reunion with all of the Leagues, I got to chat with some, shall we say, forceful old ladies. They were sweet. I was talking to Marie, the wife of Bob (who is my Grandfather's older brother) They live in California and have been married for 65 years.
I asked Marie what the secret to such a long and happy marriage was. She put her bony little arm around me and said smiling slyly: "Well, in 65 years, I've never once considered divorce. Murder, yes, on a monthly basis. But never divorce."

Uhhhhh. . . .Wiings?

So, I'm the Corporate Manager of Guest Relations.

Which, on some days, means that I get to speak directly to our guests and apologize for all types of sorted situations.
In the past 2 months I have apologized for long wait times, incorrectly prepared food, Claw Machines that "stole" money because the guest failed to win an animal, and that a manager's stomach hung over his belt by an inch.

So I thought I'd heard it all.

(Which I should have learned by now to NEVER say)

I spoke with a very delightful lady today who was intensely upset that we have chosen to serve Red Bull Energy Drinks in our stores. I apologized and told her I would be happy to forward her comments to the persons in charge of the menu. She proceeded to tell me that Red Bull was tantamount to alcohol, weed, and cocaine, but actually legal. She educated me on the evil buzz that Red Bull evokes and let me know that it is actually the same buzz achieved by the aforementioned substances. She went on to inform me that the FDA has not approved Red Bull and demanded it be removed from all of our stores (yes, all 470 of them) Immediately. Yes, Immediately. She inquired when she would receive a call back from the person in charge of what was on our menu letter her know the date by which they would be removed. Oh, and of course, that she would refuse to patronize our stores until it was off the menu. I stopped her before she enlisted my help for a charge on Capitol Hill.

Uhhhhhhh. . . . .

So while I was polite, telling her that we had received much positive feedback on the drinks and that I would forward her comments on and they would review them. What I really wanted to ask her was:
Do you refuse to patronize all gas stations, grocery stores and pharmacies that serve Red bull?
Is all caffine is evil? Or just caffine in large doses?
Should Green Tea be labled evil as well? Because while it doesn't have caffine, it is used as a substitute for many people who want coffee but opt for tea.
Do you support a legal age for consumption of coffee and carbonated soda products?


My only regret is that only those who know me well can truly sense the amount of feciousness dripping from the letters. . . . . .

But in all seriousness, I've had red bull. And I've had alcohol. And I can assure you. They are not similar.


Red Bull gives you wiings.

Lazy Sunday

Yesterday I went to the Indiana Wine Festival in Nashville, Indiana.

Very different from Nashville, Tennessee.
It was a lot of fun, but would have been much more so with a tad bit of planning by the staff of the event.
I've got to admit, my first impression of Brown County was not good. We actually passed the finest shopping available: Westward "Ho" Flea Market. (And the "ho" was in quotation marks!)- Checkout my facebook to see a pic. . . .

Today is a lazy Sunday spent with Ryan and I couldn't be more excited.
I'm off to relax now-

My Own Personal Brand of Patriotism

When I was in 5th grade I wrote an essay titled: "What Patriotism Means to Me" (I won $200 from the local VFW but that is not the point of this story) The idea of patriotism has always stuck with me, and I have found myself in several discussions on the definition of the word. Unfortunately, Mr. Obama does not seem to be too concerned with fostering a sense of Patriotism. As a side note, I will preface the following by saying I am neither Democrat nor Republican. If you must classify me, I would tend to land in most agreement with the Libertarians.

"Obama also said he could support a congressional investigation into the Bush-era terrorist detainee program, but only under certain conditions, such as if it were done on a bipartisan basis. He said he worries about the impact that high-intensity, politicized hearings in Congress could have on the government's efforts to cope with terrorism."

Right, because sooo many things in Washington are done on a completely "bipartisan basis." That plan isn't destined for failure or anything. . . .

I think my biggest concern does not echo Mr. Obama's. My biggest concern is what type of united front does our country show by launching investigations into the interrogation of the terrorists behind the 9/11 attacks?? What the hell are we doing wasting our time in this War on Terrorism if we're fighting among ourselves? Will every presidential term waste months of time scrutinizing and changing what the previous administration did? (To be fair, I am not solely refering to Mr. Obama's administration)

Personally, I don't see any type of interrogation techniques as torture. It's not like we rounded these guys up randomly, they attacked our Country, our Freedom, our Liberty, my Americans. Anything that poses a threat to My Americans should be dealt with in whatever way is the speediest and most efficient.

I was sitting in Chemistry class the day I heard that a plane was crashed into the World Trade Centers. And in my very limited (sorry, Dad!) grasp of Chemsitry, I did have a solution. Sand+Heat=Glass.

My view on the war? End things as quickly as possible with the lowest possible loss of American life.

What does Patriotism mean to me?
My Americans.
My Americans' Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness.


What does Patriotism mean to you?

"No child left behind". . . .except for the Idiots. And Pirates.

Remember when you were in grade school and thought "I'm never going to need this silly math stuff" Well unfortunately, now we have a full society of (semi)functional completely helpless adults. . . that have no idea how to add.

But I digress.
I spent quite a bit of time last week following the Pirate story. I have to admit I was quite happy at the resolution of the situation. So now the Somalian Pirates and saying they will avenge their comrads and have hijacked 5 or 6 new ships. And I say if we banded together with a couple other Navys we could send a strongmessage and end all of the piracy issues altogether in the Gulf of Aden.

We have Rangers, SEALS, and Vin Diesel/Wesley Snipes on standby to board the support ships and help to release the hostages. And the first American vessel hijacked in 200 years resulted in 4 of the 5 pirates killed and the fifth in custody set to spend his life in prison. This a good warning to pirates, because we did it right. And a couple more incidents that go down similarly and we have no more problems.

“Millions for defense, but not one cent for tribute,” was our rallying cry against the Barbary Pirates 200 years ago. Death, destruction, and damnation should be our mantra for the Somali thugs. (We could add Chuck Norris, Bruce Willis, Sly Stallone, Steven Segal, Jean-Claude VD, and even Haile Barrie. Maybe even Arnold S. and James Bond would want to get back into action.) Sic’ em boys.

Invisible Gun to Your Head?

Today I became vastly aware of the lack of self-control present in the adult society.
It baffles me that people perceive a simple phrase as an eraser for anything heinous that may tumble across their pretentious little lips.
"I don't mean to be rude, but. . . . "
"I don't want to play the *insert your choice of a 'protected' class* card but. . . . "
"Let me just be frank. . . ."

While I do not have perfect 20/20 vision, I am inclined to conclude that since I can easily make out all major shapes, colors and depths (and the state of Indiana says I can drive without vision assistance) I see no other individual holding a .38 Special, .45 Colt or 9mm to your temple, so I can only deduce that you do in fact have a choice.

Unless you wish to count lack of self control as a mental deficiency, therefore rendering the suffering individual incapable of decision making. . . .

Ah the joys of "social norms" makes me reminiscent of my college days.

Happiness isn't a destination. . .

Robert Frost said: "Everything I learned about life can be summed up in three words: 'It goes on.'"

Oh yeah, life goes on. Long after the thrill of living is gone.

I think I am beginning to realize just how depressed and desperate I actually was over the past few months. I feel like such a weight has been lifted off of me. I mean, work is work. A career will always be a job and sometimes you just don't feel like going. But to no longer loathe myself and my life each day when I wake up. . . . its absolutely freeing.

This weekend we visited the Claddaugh for some live bands. It was so much fun. I also found a very cool website called naptowndouchebags.com. I think the Douche Slayer could be my new hero. I was hit on by a big douche on Saturday. And about 35 seconds after the Douche asks me if I want to kiss his cheek (which I somewhat non-respectfully declined) my Brother in Law pops out like Buffy the Douche Slayer and 10 seconds after him my husband saunters out and informs the poor bastard (douche) that he's missing the band and he should probably move on . . . .

haha. Love it.

Happiness is a method of living.

101 in 1001

I have been working for a while on my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. Some things are serious, some are random and silly. There are three categories: Complete, In Progress/Ongoing, Not Started
Due: December 1, 2011

1. Lose 20 lbs from current weight and maintain for remainder of days. Update 2/1/10: 13 down!!
2. Integrate Fish as main protein for at least 1 dinner each week.
3. Integrate fresh salad as main lunch at work at least once a week.
4. Continue daily workouts.
5. Take a vitamin everyday
6. Got to the dentist regularly
7. Take good enough care of my skin that it looks the same or better than it currently does.
8. Find a church we can agree on attending.
9. Become a better housekeeper.
10. Do more of the housework myself so Ryan is less stressed
11. Budget so all of our essentials are on one salary
12. Visit at least one set of grandparents each year
13. Talk to my mom at least once a week
14. Email or talk to Linda at least once every other month
15. Tile the kitchen floor
16. Completely finish the basement
17. Re-finish the deck. Summer 2009.
18. Buy a new car. Mercury Milan, purchased 3/2009.
19. Go to Hawaii
20. Celebrate 4th, 5th, and 6th wedding anniversaries
21. Swim with dolphins
22. Parasail with Ryan
23. Go on at least two vacations per year (Total of 5 or 6 week long vacations)
24. Catch up and keep up with my scrapbooking
25. Always have a book 'in progress', never unread for longer than a week
26. Make 2 friends in Indy, have girls' nights out
27. Learn how to make a bearnaise sauce
28. Plant and maintain landscaping the the front yard
29. Get a raise each year
30. Contribute montly to our savings account, no less than the minimum we set.
31. Finish my short story
32. Teach Gretchen "come"- all the time!
33. Get a pedicure. Get more than one pedicure.
34. Buy a new couch and loveseat
35. Visit Canada.
36. See Timesquare
37. Finish reading my Poe book (The complete works of Edgar Allan Poe)
38. Make a candle
39. Eat sushi
40. Paint a piece of pottery
41. Do an activity with Ryan just because its something he wants to do
42. Make homemade shrimp ravioli- Pasta too. 1/31/2010- pasta was great!
43. Make homemade white sauce for pasta- Completed 1/31/2010. Sauce was grainy. Need to try again!
44. Ride a wave runner
45. Walk Gretchen at least 3 times a week
46. Get better at small talk
47. Make a piece of pottery
48. Hold a non-poisonous snake
49. Run a 5 and a half minute mile
50. Continue weekly closet cleaning ritual
51. Donate at least one item to Goodwill each month
52. Drive a convertable with the top down
53. Golf at least once a month during the spring and summers
54. Eat at the Melting Pot
55. Get at least one more stamp in my passport
56. Make a gingerbread house (gingerbread and all)
57. Learn basic conversational Spanish
58. Continue following my daily cleaning list
59. Take more pictures when friends get together
60. Send random encouraging emails
61. Continue buying and learning to utilize spices in my cooking
62. Go to the opera or symphony
63. Hear the Transsiberian Orchestra Play
64. See Joel McHale do standup
65. Go to at least 2 more Bronco Games in Denver
66. Set up and use my sewing machine
67. Have people over at least once every three months
68. Go to Cedar Pointe.
69. Ride all the rides at Cedar Pointe.
70. Buy a pattern and make a black shell dress
71.Completely read at least 2 of my Psych textbooks
72. Make at least one new recipe each month
73. Get the 2nd guest room set up with the Daybed
74. Go to a wine store and buy one I wouldn't normally. Visited Cork Cracker.
75. See GREASE the Movie (saw it for the first time 3/1/09)
76. See a show on Broadway
77. Order a Champaigne Cocktail. Ordered at the Patterson House 7/30/09.
78. Walk Gretchen in a Mutt Strutt
79. Make pumpernickel toast
80. Walk in some type of Red or Pink Fundraising Event
81. Tile the bar in the basement by myself
82. Visit the Newseum and the Holocaust Muesum
83. Go to or host a Halloween costume party
84. Make a rosotto
85. Go see a movie at a Drive-In
86. Watch Fight Club with Ryan (and Stay awake during it)
87. Get photos recovered from the laptop
88. Buy a pair of Jimmy Choos
89. Get professional photos done with Ryan
90. Cook duck a la orange
91. Cook a rack of lamb
92. Host a New Year's Eve Party
93. Buy another Coach bag
94. Get Laser Hair Removal for my legs
95. Build and maintain a completely stocked Bar for the basement
96. Buy a big screen TV for the basement when its finished
97. Go to Irish Fest
98. Take a tour of the White House
99. Vote in at least one state/local election
100. Go to a French restuarant
101. Have a private, candlelight dinner on the beach

Updates.

It seems it is time for some updates on what has been happening with my life.

I was finally able to leave my job at the cosmetic clinic and finally experience going to work and not loathing myself and my job. I have finished my first week at a new position, and I could not be more content. The possibilities are endless here and I am thrilled. I am the Manager of Guest Relations. Its completely up my alley and seems to be written entirely to my skill set.
Apart from the fear of getting lost each and every time I get off the interstate and endeavor to navigate the streets of downtown 'Nap town, I am content.
Of course, I'm still in the process of learning my way around the office (all 4 floors) but I did finally locate the breakroom (on Thursday, yeah, sad I know) and am meeting more people and being able to put names with faces which is always nice.
Of course the best security comes with the fact that I am no longer working in the industry of plastic surgery (very volitile, given the current market conditions)
I am still working on finding friends. Its harder than I might have suspected but I am trying. Ryan is working a lot of nights and is a bit stressed with school and work and never having a true "day off" but he's getting used it. He knows I've been there and that eventually it will end. He will be so happy when he is finally done with school and able to do what he loves too.

Beyond that, I finally feel like I don't need a percoset just to make it through the day. Today was the first Saturday I have had off in quite some time. Before the clinic, it was the restuarant. This is my first "regular" m-f 8-5 job. I love it.

My (little) big brother is coming for a visit next weekend. I have only two brothers, both of them older, but I've always differentiated by little big and big big. Andy is in Chicago and only a 3 hour bus ride here. Its sad how little we make time for family, even as close as they are.

My biggest worry about work is currently my clothing. Weird, right? I know I'm a hard worker and smart, so accomplishing the tasks set fourth for me is no issue. My concern is that I am easily the youngest worker in the corporation and I'm not sure what is acceptable for me to wear. Men are no help, and the women are all so much older than I am, I'm having trouble translating their clothing into similar clothing that people my age (and style!) would wear. Ahh. Its frustraing. I've been dressing like an old person all week, and I'm sure that's not what's expected of me.

I was working late on Wednesday and hat happened to be the time the CEO decided to walk by my office come in and introduce himself! I was of course waiting for the meeting, and was thrilled it happened to be when I was in the office much later than anyone typically is. I think overall for a first week it went well.


Of course, anyone who has talked to me for 6 minutes or more knows that I am likely quite nervous and anxious about the outcome of things. But I finally feel like I made the decision that is best for me. I loved my old bosses, but I had no opportunity there, and I was fading away, a little more each day. I hope this contentment is exactly what I have been searching for.

Content.


That's a nice change of pace.

How to be Successful

The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

THIS is what I want to see on my Starbucks. . .

Thanks to my friend Sarah for posting this quote on her Blog:

The Way I See It #299:
"There is a subtle difference between a mission and a promise. A mission is something you strive to accomplish - a promise is something you are compelled to keep. One is individual, the other is shared. When a mission and a promise are one and the same... that's when mountains are moved and races are won."

-Hala Moddelmog
President and CEO,
Susan G. Komen for the Cure

YES! THIS is what I want to see on my Starbucks cup. . . . not Al Gore: "See, I was right. . . .We're melting"

Homonyms

To
Too
Two

Waste
Waist

Your
You're

Sweet
Suite

Third graders can correctly identify and integrate the correct words from the above examples of homonyms. You'd think college graduates would be able to master this.


I guess the good is that I now can identify a new pet peeve.

Life sucks, and then you die.

Yeah,
I should be so lucky.

And Just When You Start to Have a Spring in Your Step. . . .

the bottom falls out again.

The receptionist quit. Again.
And guess which lucky bitch gets to pick up all the slack of the extra responsibilities?

Oh aren't I lucky?
Tomorrow, I am finally going back to the gym, now that the new location is up and running.
I am hoping if my physical state improves some that maybe my emotional state will follow.

I am open to suggestions for a new book and/or series of books to read.
I finished the entire collection of Sookie Stackhouse novels in less than a week. Damn my fast reading. I've realized that I don't quite feel so blah when my mind is getting some exercise beyond world news on MSN.com or the occassional Cosmo.
Considering that most mainstream news and magazines are written no higher than 7th grade level, I've decided as a culture we have become complacent. We're ok with being dumb. We skip over words we don't know, rather than looking them up (not that you actually have to know how to use a dictionary anymore, just dictionary.com. . . . and thanks to the magic of Microsoft, you can spell it dikshunarie and you'll probably find it)

Today, my assistant proofread a paper for me.
And found a typo.
And corrected the typo with incorrect grammar.
Nice.

My list of 101 is nearly done and will be coming soon.

A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flow away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefor the less gone ?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
Oh God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
Oh God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?


Today I received some mildly good news at work. I suppose I should say this makes me feel just slightly less dark and irritated.
Of course, a nice glass of Pinot also makes me less irritated.

I have decided that I want to learn how to cook for a more sophisticated palate. I am a decent cook and a fabulous baker. I would like to make more chef type food. First up on the list is a bernaise sauce. I have gotten the hang of hollandiase, so on to the next thing.
I have been consumed in books this week. It is a nice change of pace, and my mind feels suprisingly challenged, although the witless fiction makes me realize how empty and blaise my mind has been over the past few months.
I hate it.

And yet, I have no idea how to change it.

Twister

Twister.
It's what my brain feels like right now.
It's what my life feels like right now.

My job is awful. I have a new assistant. Not too horrible, right? Except that all the duties that I am allowed to assign her are the projects that I love. I worked my ass off to get them up and running and now they want me to hand them all off.
So that my time will be freed up to do the things I hate.

Isn't life great?

Vampires

I have finished the Twilight series and I have decided I should have been a vampire. I don't sleep.

But I do love the sun.
At least the vampires *(in the book) are more beautiful in the sun, instead of dying or bursting into flames.
I have been toying with the idea of doing the 101 things to do in 1001 days. However, I have not come up with more than 10 things I actually want to accomplish. I suppose that means that I am pretty sad with few goals.

I discovered today I am in one of two moods all the time:
- completely miserable
- moderately miserable

Thank you.
I am sorry that I am always such a downer.