Happy New Year

Wishing you happiness and prosperity in 2011.

Hoping the New Year is filled with happier times than 2010 was.

Cheers.

Pants on Fire.

I envy the people who can lie so easily right to someone's face.

Going far in business would be much easier if I didn't have scruples.

Sex and the City

Love the Movie.

Hate that I don't have girlfriends close by.

Breakfast at TIffany's Blue Boxes of Rock and Roll with the Punches. BING! and decide.

Perhaps the information overload caused by the internet isn't always the best thing.

At least once a week someone asks me a question and reacts with mild shock and astonishment when I have the answer.
First, do you seriously have no general trivial knowledge?
Second, have you ever used Google before?

Setting up the right home page, and in less than 5 minutes, I know that today:
- It is 42 degrees outside.
- Sexual assaults are happening in airports courtesy of TSA officers, and people are getting mad and contemplating protests.
- Lindsey Lohan is now driving again. (seriously. WTF.)
- Handy tips on how I can make 26 different table centerpeices with pinecones and pumpkin vines.
- There's more fighting happening between the Koreas.
- The Pope has said HIV+ people can use condoms (random.)

While I've never been one for continuing higher education in the form of university, I do appreciate having some general knowledge and not presenting myself as an imbecile. Of course, anyone who knows me can also tell you I'm a news junkie.

Google has put the world at my fingertips. I can learn more in a couple hours than I learned in a year of college. So I have to agree with WebMD.com.
More Information.
Better Health.

Yes! Exactly. Empower the people to take a proactive role in their health.
Based on the level of knowledge possessed by some of the Doctors I've met, they could stand to check it out.

Alas, I have been informed that I am no longer permitted to visit the site.

Seriously.

So, one time I happened to think that a cold was Hepititis, and everyone is all up in arms saying I "overreact."



goddamn.

Checkmate

I've realized in all most aspects of life, one must be thinking 3 moves ahead.

If not, you certainly won't be the one saying 'checkmate' but rather the one sitting there going, how the hell did that queen get there?!?

So I'm currently plotting my third and fourth moves.


Hopefully I'm playing the game correctly.

Loss

There have been a lot of loss in my household this week.
I feel sad.
Guilty.
Hopeless.

Here's hoping these next few weeks can bring some healing and hope.
And possibly, more excitement!

Good Bye, Murph-Star

My precious Persian Price, Murphy died today.

He was a good cat.
He loved to howl, especially during the night. Upon investigation, he was most typically found dragging a piece of dirty laundry from the hamper around in his mouth.
I can't count the number of times I came home to find that Murphy had dragged a pair of my panties into the Kitchen or Living Room and just left them sitting.
Murphy loved heat. Shortly after we adopted him, we learned he suffered from terrible hair balls, so we routinely took him in for shaves. He looked adorable with his little Lion Cut.
But it made him very cold to have such little fur, so we loved sitting near (or on) anyone who was warm. He especially loved sitting on Ryan. In the winter, when I pull out my handy space heater, Murphy could always be found parked about two inches from the heater. Even when it wasn't on, he would perch right in front of it, just hoping it would start omitting his precious heat.

But what Murphy loved the most was anything soft. He loved pillows, beds, couches, anything that had some "fluff" to it. (Including Ryan's stomach)
He purred a lot. On nights when I couldn't sleep, all I had to do was find Murphy and bring him to bed with me. He would curl up right beside me and purr until I fell asleep. Usually, he was still there in the morning time.

Murphy was a good cat. He will be missed.

uuuuum. well, ok.

God might just have a sense of humor after all.

John Steinbeck

Why. Don't things ever go according to my plans?!

"The best laid plans of Mice and Men often go awry."


Well, damn.

Depression, Photos, and Busyness

I've always had trouble having hobbies. I have lots of things I enjoy doing, but it seems after a long week at work I'm just too tired to actually DO anything.
But after a terrible week of spiraling this week (My emotions have been all over the place, and this week I was fantastically depressed.)
I pulled out my scrapbook stuff and have done 4 pages already this morning. Looking at photos of such good times we've had has really helped me remember that not all times will be like this.
And now I'm working on the last pages of 2008 trips...wow that's kind of sad. But at least I'm getting it done now.

The next few weeks I'm planning to enjoy some quiet weekends, before the busyness starts.
We have Justin and Amy's Wedding on the 25th
Their reception at our house on October 2nd
And Linda(my MIL) is coming to stay the weekend at our house on the 8th!
Plus, somewhere in there we'll be keeping the neices for a couple days while their new sister makes her way into the world! :)
So we'll be pretty scarce for a while, so I'm enjoying some quality time in my pjs on the new couch this morning with a cup of coffee. Bliss. And the happiest I've been all week!

Aloha!

I'm back on the mainland now.

Hawaii was amazing.
And my sleep is alllll kinds of messed up.

I'm thinking that it will be a few days before I'm back to normal. I've already uploaded photos and am waiting impatiently to go pick them up! :)

Antsy as Hell

We are leaving Saturday for our first vacation in 2 years!!! :)

Spending 9 days on Oahu, Hawaii.

:)
:)
:)

Unfortunately, I have two days of work to get through before then....
I just wanna go now!

Lost my Background

And I don't know why or how. So I guess I'm back to an ugly blog.
Can anyone help??

Confused

At a place I've never been before. Wish I could know when things will change.

Working towards a decision.
I think September.

In-Laws

Are finally feeling like family.

It's nice.

Vacay in the Ozarks!

Beginning about 90 minutes ago, I'm on a 5 day-vacay from work!
I haven't had 5 days in a row off since 2008, so I'm quite excited.

We are leaving for Lake in the Ozarks Missouri tomorrow morning bright and early.
I'm just so so so so excited to have a few days off to lay in the sun and relax!

Frustration Is...

when 6 days pass and I've not seen my husband while he is awake.

I Will Not Bring A Puppy Home...

I finished my first official volunteer shift at the Humane Society today. Love it.
Now if I can just get through multiple shifts without bringing home additional puppies, we'll be good to go.

So I came home from the society tonight to find that there is a pretty significant drip coming from a pipe in the wall. And, of course, it has to be by an area where we have already hung the dry wall. fml.
Hopefully it will be an easy fix and not too pricey.
Of course, all I can think is that we just booked tickets for vacation last week- and now if we have thousands of dollars of plumming to do, oh vey.

Just keeping my fingers crossed at this point.

Family reunion (the hub's family) SO stay tuned for the drama that is certain to come...

Not alone.

Kind of miss it...

In other news, I have been getting some projects done around the house, and it makes me feel better to have a task at hand.
Today I re-stained the deck. It looks fantastic. I have a blister.

Now I'm just hoping that we can get the basement done asap! :)

It's always darkest before it goes pitch black.

My boss told me in my performance eval today that I need to be more outgoing and interactive with people in the office.

So it's apparently not enough that I have no friends here.
I apparently have no legitimate business contacts either.

"Just talk to people more"

Awesome. And since that's so easy for me, I'll just plant a money tree in the backyard too.
 Then I won't have to work at all.

F.
My.
Life.

Swollen

My feet are swollen.

My knees are swollen and aching.
I feel like a cross-breed between a 75-year-old artiritic man and a 9 month pregnant woman.


My conference is over and it went fabulously.

I am thrilled.

And getting a massage on Friday.

Found out on Tuesday that someone hired after me was promoted to a Manager level. Can't help but feel a little hurt that I was passed over (not for her promotion but for a promotion). It kind of feels like my boss wants to keep me where I am. Which is complimenting and insulting all at the same time.

I still don't feel like going on vacation.

Dreams

It is 6 am and I have been awake for hours. I had the most terrifyingly vivid dream.
It was so vivid I'm actually not sure that it wasn't reality.

Isn't it bizarre how one little dream - if true - has the power to ruin all other dreams?

The conference starts tomorrow.

I'm so antsy. There's not a lot to do this early in the morning. I think I might make scones.

Sad

So many things are just flying around in my head like humming birds' wings.
Sad
Dull
Lonely
Stressed
Overwhelmed
Scared

Trying.

I am trying.

And that's about all I can say with any honesty whatsoever.

Completely Overwhelmed.

Ever been at the place where you have so much to do, it doesn't matter where you start because there's no way in hell that you're going to finish?

I'm three miles past that.

Less of a Woman

After finally putting batteries back in my scales, I was pleased to learn yesterday that I am officially 10% lighter than I was in November.
I'm 90% of the woman I once was...


*happy dance*

When Harry Met Sally

"I'll have the Chef Salad with the oil and vinegar on the side please. And the apple pie a la mode.
And I'd like the pie heated please, and I don't want the ice cream on top, I'd like it on the side. I'd like Strawberry please, if you have it, and if not then I'd like whipped cream, but only if its real, If its out of a can, then, nothing."

"Not even the pie?"

"No, then I'll still have the pie, but not heated."

:)

Sitting on Park Place

Not in the sense that I'm sitting on Money.
(*but we are getting a Great tax return because of all the money we've paid for Ryan's school!)

But I feel like I'm sitting on Park Place, about to advance to Boardwalk. So close to finally having a decision-an answer...

And then, all that's left is pass and GO!

Snow Over it!

I am so ready for some warm weather! We've had snow on the ground for weeks now. Literally. Weeks. And I am officially Over snow on the roads, icicles hanging from my roof, my filty salt-covered car...and the Freaking 27 degree weather that accompanies the snow!

Bring on the sunshine, humidity, and 95 degree days! (I'm totally stocked up on deodorant and sunscreen so anytime now is completely fine)

Insight

Ariana Huffington said that Fearlessness isn't the absence of fear, but the mastry of fear. It's about getting up one more time than you fall down.

I agree.
Fearlessness is staring fear in the face and jumping in with both feet.

Where do they sell life parachutes and flotation devices?

It's Hard To Jump with 1 Foot on the Dock and 1 Foot in the Boat

When Ryan proposed to me, that I KNEW beyond the shadow of a doubt that it was the right thing.

Why can't I apply that feeling to this situation?
It was so simple. I knew that no matter what life would throw at us, that I wanted to tackle it with him. Maybe we were ready; maybe we weren't. Maybe we had enough money; maybe we didn't. Nothing mattered but being married and taking on everything that was to come together.
There was no fear of the unknown. It was the easiest decision I've ever made in my life. I've never regretted it for a moment.

So why is this decision so hard? Why do all the "what if's" matter now? Why, with him by my side, holding my hand, do I second guess everything? Money, time, ability. . . .

How do I find that fearlessness again?
I need to know how I can jump in with both feet.

Sickly

I think I have a fever.

Falling to Pieces

Do you ever feel its pointless to continue holding yourself together?

What's really so bad about falling apart.

I thought life was supposed to be highs and lows. Where are the highs?

This Economy is So Bad....

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.


I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked " Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

The bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds" and it's a legitimate question to ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! ! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!


I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...
 
Unfortuantely, I can not claim this is as an original post, though as the author is unknown I cannot give proper credit.

People Who Annoy Me.

1. People who drive slow.
2. Miley Cyrus.
3. People who whine.
4. Women who wear a size 0.
5. Women over the age of 18 who weigh less than 115 lbs.
6. People who use improper grammar.
7. The IRS.
8. Politicians.
9. People who sell their food stamps.
10. People who like Miley Cyrus.
11. People who push their beliefs on others.
12. People who think using a turn signal gives them right of way.
13. Women who don't wear bras in public.
14. People who don't get sarcasm.
15. People who take up 2 parking spaces.

It's been a long day.

Random Thoughts on a Sunny Sunday

The sun is out today and that makes me happy.
Wednesday was payday. And I was ever-so-unhappy to learn that my taxes have been raised. Again.
I realize its a hot button issue, but of course that means I have the correct an opinion. For the sake of time and space I will summarize into the following points.

• The rich should not be required to pay higher percetages of taxes. I fully support a standard tax percentage. Some argue that the rich should be required to pay more in order to support the poor on the argument that a society must have rich and poor in order to survive. But no incentive exists to inspire the poor to ever do anything for themselves. They can forever receive a free ride. There is no demand for them to ever pay back what they receive.
• Those who do receive welfare, should be required to submit to regular drug tests. I am constantly frustrated to realize that many of those who are sitting at home *not working* that my taxes go to support are high on god knows what. It should not be profitable for any person to sit at home on substances and receive free money for doing nothing.
• Food stamps should not be open ended. I believe that they should be used as vouchers rather than as free cash. It makes me ill to be behind someone in the supermarket who is purchasing filet, lobster, organic (read: 3x the price) vegetables and fruit, caviar....Food vouchers should entitle the bearer to staples like milk, bread, rice, peanut butter, lean protein, and baking basics (flour, sugar, etc). My vision would be to give a small amount of 'flex' vouchers to be used for special occasions like oreos, cake mix, doritos, and 'fun' food. Since food stamps are meant to be a help for moms to feed their kids, I am also a believer that the food stamp program should issue them to a specific person who must present a valid photo id to redeem them. I get so upset when I see food stampers selling them for half their value to receive cash to buy the unsupported items (read: liquor, beer, cigarettes.)

Additionally, I feel the need to mention that Cheyenne, Wyoming is quite a snooze. Though there were bedazzled boots all over town. The highlight of last week's trip included: 75 mph speed limits and utilizing a Drive Thru Liquor store. Amazing!

Today was a good day.

Today I wore a pair of pants that haven't fit since May.

And I've officially lost 11 pounds.

*happy dance!*

A Nugget of Truth to Ponder

Haiti was rocked by a 7.0 magnitude earthquake last Tuesday. Today they experienced a 6.0 aftershock. The country is in ruins. Thousands have died; tens of thousands are injured; hundreds of thousands are homeless. My jr. high Youth Pastor and his wife, Mike and Missy Wilson, who were in the final states of adopting 5-year-old Haitin Tia. After a crazy week, they were able to bring her home to the States (with all her papers and documents!)

The web is covered with photos of orphans searching for food and water. Fake web sites have reproduced like baby bunnies promising to deliver truckloads of money to the devestated country. And most recently, (this has not yet been confirmed) a busload of Haitin orphans are scheduled to arrive in Indianapolis, and an open call has been put out for families who are interested in fostering or adopting them.

Those who know me already know that adoption is something that is very close to my heart. I have the utmost respect for anyone who tackles the crazy rollercoaster of foreign or domestic adoption.
Which brings me to my point.
(raise your hand if you were thinking 'Finally!')

So many people are going on and on about Saving the Haitin children- getting them food, water, and medicine, bringing them out of the slums and orphanages, fostering them, and adopting them.
Please don't misunderstand me. I am not meaning to diminish the needs that are prevalent in Haiti today. I simply cannot overlook the thousands of children in the US foster system. The thousands of children wishing, hoping, and praying that someone will want to love them.

Why is it that people are so moved to adopt now? Why aren't we always moved to adopt the thousands of children here?

I hope that we are not only moved to care for others after a disaster, but rather every day from now until all children in the US, and throughout the world are all in loving homes.

Clinical

My husband thinks I need therapy.

I'm kind of wishing I could just disappear.

Crazy Bitch

But I suppose that's just life. Things should never stay the same for too long or I could actually be happy I will forget how to adapt, and not learn to be a better person with each change.

Things that are also Crazy this week:

• 2 people at the office being let go unexpectedly this week
• The irritating frustrating ridiculous infuriating Supreme Court trial against Proposition 8
• My head and the thoughts inside of it
• The women on The Bachelor
• MY BESTIE IS GETTING MARRIED ON SATURDAY!! (this one is more crazy exciting though!)

Long Weekend

Relaxation it at its greatest when I have an extra day or two off work.
I rang in the new year with my husband and some wonderful friends. We toasted cheap champaign at midnight. I took a wonderful nap on New Year's Day while Ryan watched football.

And I still have a whole weekend left.
Now that's what I'm talking about!!

In unrelated news, I caught a few hours of a Jennifer Aniston movie marathon on Lifetime.
She seriously has not been in a good movie. The Break Up came the closest, but was overshadowed by how terribly awful the rest of them are. Such a shame.

Wishing you and yours a blissfully Happy New Year!