Life sucks, and then you die.

Yeah,
I should be so lucky.

And Just When You Start to Have a Spring in Your Step. . . .

the bottom falls out again.

The receptionist quit. Again.
And guess which lucky bitch gets to pick up all the slack of the extra responsibilities?

Oh aren't I lucky?
Tomorrow, I am finally going back to the gym, now that the new location is up and running.
I am hoping if my physical state improves some that maybe my emotional state will follow.

I am open to suggestions for a new book and/or series of books to read.
I finished the entire collection of Sookie Stackhouse novels in less than a week. Damn my fast reading. I've realized that I don't quite feel so blah when my mind is getting some exercise beyond world news on MSN.com or the occassional Cosmo.
Considering that most mainstream news and magazines are written no higher than 7th grade level, I've decided as a culture we have become complacent. We're ok with being dumb. We skip over words we don't know, rather than looking them up (not that you actually have to know how to use a dictionary anymore, just dictionary.com. . . . and thanks to the magic of Microsoft, you can spell it dikshunarie and you'll probably find it)

Today, my assistant proofread a paper for me.
And found a typo.
And corrected the typo with incorrect grammar.
Nice.

My list of 101 is nearly done and will be coming soon.

A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flow away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefor the less gone ?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
Oh God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
Oh God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?


Today I received some mildly good news at work. I suppose I should say this makes me feel just slightly less dark and irritated.
Of course, a nice glass of Pinot also makes me less irritated.

I have decided that I want to learn how to cook for a more sophisticated palate. I am a decent cook and a fabulous baker. I would like to make more chef type food. First up on the list is a bernaise sauce. I have gotten the hang of hollandiase, so on to the next thing.
I have been consumed in books this week. It is a nice change of pace, and my mind feels suprisingly challenged, although the witless fiction makes me realize how empty and blaise my mind has been over the past few months.
I hate it.

And yet, I have no idea how to change it.

Twister

Twister.
It's what my brain feels like right now.
It's what my life feels like right now.

My job is awful. I have a new assistant. Not too horrible, right? Except that all the duties that I am allowed to assign her are the projects that I love. I worked my ass off to get them up and running and now they want me to hand them all off.
So that my time will be freed up to do the things I hate.

Isn't life great?

Vampires

I have finished the Twilight series and I have decided I should have been a vampire. I don't sleep.

But I do love the sun.
At least the vampires *(in the book) are more beautiful in the sun, instead of dying or bursting into flames.
I have been toying with the idea of doing the 101 things to do in 1001 days. However, I have not come up with more than 10 things I actually want to accomplish. I suppose that means that I am pretty sad with few goals.

I discovered today I am in one of two moods all the time:
- completely miserable
- moderately miserable

Thank you.
I am sorry that I am always such a downer.

Yellow Tail

Shiraz.


Christmas was nice. The trip was too short. Working yesterday was painful. Today I did nothing but read the final Twilight book (finally glad to know the ending), take a quick jaunt to Macy's and a nice long, hot bubble bath with a nice cocktail.

Tomorrow I have to clean, clean, clean. Carlton will come tomorrow night and is staying for the week. Ryan just found out he has to use his last vacation days of 08 the first week of the new year, and unfortunately, I'm not off. Its so horrendous waking up and getting out of bed while the one you love slumbers through the day.

Red, red wine. Stay close to me

Cold Night

5 am in Indianapolis.
I cannot sleep.
Yet, my mind is deliciously blank.
Finally.
Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have been a vampire. The wake in the night is step one, or so I've read.

Tonight we are leaving to Tennessee. I have not even begun to pack. We are coming home on Friday afternoon, since Ryan and I both have to work on Saturday. But we are thrilled to see my family.
It is 6 degrees and I am cold.